2012..

Well I'm back to this blog again, don't ask me why.. I've just changed my mind. My mood has been pretty on and off lately which is partially why I haven't felt like writing. I don't even feel like writing right now. I probably should though, get some things (ideas, topics) off my chest. Maybe it will help in the long run.

I'm seeing this guy, it's been almost two months. I guess you might even say it's more serious than seeing since he's living with me. And at first it was everything I could have ever wanted and more, much much more. But now I can't decipher if it's just that the honey moon phase is slowly ending or that what I think might actually be true. I obviously don't want it to be true.

I thought he was completely different from my ex, but lately I'm wondering if he really is.. or if I just made it out that way. I've been avoiding thinking about this, I don't want to think about it. Like, could I SERIOUSLY have fallen into the exact same type of relationship I was in before, am I really that blind and dumb. Or, am I just not wanting to work at things, maybe my mood lately has just making things go off, distorting my thinking and my perceptions... I just don't know.

We talk things out when a problem is evident, we've never yelled at each other or called each other a name, I mean that is totally different than my last relationship. So how is it like this? Why do I feel like this? Do I need to just stop comparing my relationship to my previous train wreak of one? It's just hard, that one was so fucked up... I don't ever want to be in something like that again.

I really do love this this guy.