I just keep getting beat down. I thought I was finally done with Curtis. I am done with Curtis, but can the kid just leave me alone? No. He needs his stuff back, wants to threten me, and tell me I'm worthless. I don't deserve this from any person, so I finally stuck up for myself, without getting emotional or giving him the satisfaction of upsetting me. I'm proud of me. Finally letting go of him feels good, it feels right (except for those few moments). He hasn't repsonded back to my rebuttle so far so I think I've stumped him.
Curtis, please just leave me alone. You've been nothing but rude and irrational to me. And despite what you seem to think of me, I've never done anything to hurt you intentionally, unlike what you've done to me so many times over the years. I feel as though most of it comes from me not wanting to screw you or date you or even makeout with you.. and maybe that's a bit egotistical of me to say, but maybe I'm right, or maybe I'm really wrong. All I know is how I've been treated by you. And usually that was never ok. So I'm finally letting go of whatever it was that kept me holding on to you. My life will go on without you, and it will be ok. It hurts to actually have to let someone who I thought was very important person in my life go, but you put me in this position.
Alright, now that I've gotten that out of my system. No guy pays any attention to me for god knows how long, and now all in one night I've got two guys who are like gungho ready and wanting to chill asap. Stupid life. I'm really bad at saying no... NOT in like a sexual way, but being firm about like no im not coming out tonight. Because if I was more confident I probably would go out... but I'm not. But dam does it feel good to have guys attention. I still love chris though. I think I just crave positive attention from guys because I don't get enough of it from the one important guy in my life.
I also bought my first car last week. 2006 pontiac vibe. It's beautiful, it's my dream car and it's my baby. She's currently in the shop right now though :( Getting her brakes redone. Argh, I miss driving her. Only nine more days till my n test!!!
