Well I am finally legal all over the world!
I have to say these past few months I've really changed and am trying to make myself into a better person. I stopped doing drugs, am not really into drinking that much anymore and am coming to what I feel like are life altering realizations lately. I feel like turning 21 means I'm getting older and I should be getting happier so I need to start making better decisions.. and different ones.
I have always known that I put a lot of emotional effort (usually more than others) into all my relationships in life, which unfortunately makes it a lot easier for me to be upset/agitated/angry faster.
I seem to be putting to much energy into trying to get people to accept me, like me or whatever. I don't actually think it's bad to put energy into the relationships with those around you but I've realized I'm always doing it with the wrong people which is why I'm always getting disappointed and hurt.
I don't know what I did to those few people who are singling me out right now.. and after I've calmed myself down and thought about the situation rationally... I honestly don't think I did do anything. That's just who they are and who they need me to be, the excuse, the reason. But I won't be that anymore. It's time I move on.
I was so lost, so so lost for so long and felt like they were my only people, but they aren't and they're certainly not the right people for me. I do have people in my life who care about me and do want the best for me and it's time I start treating those people with the respect they deserve and putting my energy into them. I don't want to be like those toxic people in my life and maybe it's not to late for me to change.
I want to be a better person, and maybe I can if I focus my energy on the people who are worth it I will be.
I know this post is all jumbled up but that makes sense to me, so whatever :P
