oh hey. tonights not much better tham the last. Don't feel that my life is just one big shit hole.. It's just that I uaually only end up writing when im upset, or alone.. or upset and alone. It's when I have the most time on my hands. I spent all day today making my bf a present to surprise him with for no good reason.. and he just becomes this major asshole. He doesn't understand where I come from at all becuase he's never been alone in his life. Never had rules put on him.. and now he lives with his brother so he can have whoever over, whenever he feels like it. All the while, I'm stuck in this house that limits me from being the exact person I really am. It also doesn't help theres an unlimited supply of other stuff that doesn't help my current condition. I've decided that I need to go join Jenny Craig. I just need to start saving up a bit of money for it.. I'd love to loose some weight :) What else can I say? I'm not looking forward to swim teaching.. I hate getting into the water, and I hate my body. I really hate my body.
I hate how one day you'll realize, the sweetest words were the fucking lies.
if you really knew me, you'd know i miss him
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